the opposite of stress ball

photo: jetheriot

Stress balls are squishy toys you hold in the palm of your hand. The idea is that they’re helpful for relieving stress, that squeezing them repeatedly is calming. Problem is, they don’t work. In fact, they do the exact opposite of what they claim.

Stress balls are also known as squeeze balls or relaxable balls. All of these terms – stress, squeeze, relaxable – refer to the compressible nature of the ball. A stress ball is an object that can assume both a stressed and an unstressed state. A stress ball doesn’t have to be spherical, but it must be compressible. It must be made of a squeezable material, a resilient polymer or foam that retains its shape even after multiple compressions. A typical stress ball can be compressed to half its unstressed size when the fingers of the hand close around it and squeeze. Then it relaxes to assume its original form, ready to be squeezed again. To be made tense and to relax, over and over and over, that is the essence of the stress ball.

You’ll hear various theories about why they should work. They stimulate the hand’s nerve endings in an acupunctural manner, some say, sending positive flows of energy to your brain. Others say squeezing a stress ball increases your circulation, boosting your brain’s oxygen levels. And on an intuitive level, the idea is compelling. Squeeze it hard enough and long enough, the stress ball promises, and stress will melt away. But these common sense intuitions, however, aren’t backed up by any evidence.

As far as science is concerned, a stress ball is nothing more than a spongy toy, useful perhaps for strengthening hand muscles, or as an entertaining projectile, but not for alleviating stress. The stress ball, in the way that it’s most commonly understood, actually promotes stress. Yet the stress ball is touted in corporate handbooks worldwide and too many internet articles to count as a sort of remedy for stress. We’ve accepted the idea unthinkingly. How did we get it so wrong?

Let’s start from scratch. The concept of stress, in its most modern sense, was taken from the field of materials engineering. Before the word stress was used to describe humans, it was used to describe the way a deformable object redistributes its internal forces in response to external forces acting upon it. Is the object resilient? Does it bend? Does it break? The term seems tailor-made for human physiology and human psychology. When external forces act on people, some go with the flow. Some get bent out of shape. Others crack.

It isn’t always a bad thing to be stressed. When you need to run away from danger, you kick into high gear. It’s good to be able to send blood surging through your body when you need it in a hurry. It’s good to be able to get your mind and your legs racing. These are all appropriate responses to stress. When you can’t turn it off, however, when you’re in high gear all the time, you run yourself ragged.

The human body is like a stress ball. It can exist in a stressed or an unstressed state. When you’re stressed, your body is tense. The muscles of your face and your neck are squeezed tight. You crackle with energy and scattered movement. You’re pacing, biting your fingernails, tossing and turning, smacking gum, grinding teeth. Your heart is beating fast. When you’re unstressed, your limbs are relaxed. Your heart is humming smoothly. Your body is serene. If there’s movement, it’s gentle and purposeful. The human mind is also like a stress ball. It can exist in a stressed or an unstressed state. When you’re stressed, your mind is buzzing with movement, movement for the sake of movement. You worry. You chew on thoughts. Your mind races from topic to topic. You spin your wheels, failing to gain traction. Stress is a state of both body and mind. The two go hand in hand.

You don’t have to do anything and stress will find you. All you have to do is be alive. Traffic. Stress. Money. Stress. Job. Stress. Family. Stress. Illness. Stress. Life is a series of stresses. Stress just happens. You can’t escape it, so it’s important to provide a counterbalance to it. Life keeps squeezing you, and unless you keep unsqueezing yourself, stress will come to predominate. You have to keep unsqueezing yourself over and over and over. This is how peacefulness is achieved. Notice that this is exactly the opposite of what a stress ball would have you do. Stress balls actually lure you toward a state of stress. They’re chewy with the promise of sponginess. They’re colorful. They’re hand-sized. Stress balls are extremely seductive. They practically beg you to squeeze them. The stress ball wants you to squeeze. Peacefulness is about unsqueezing.

I’ll say it again, because this is the heart of the matter. The stress ball wants you to squeeze. Peacefulness is about unsqueezing. If you want to be unstressed, why would you compress yourself repeatedly around a ball? Why would you squeeze when you’re trying to unsqueeze? Chogyam Trungpa, explaining karma, wrote “If you plant peaches, you get peaches. If you plant pears, you get pears.” To become less stressed, you have to practice a counter-maneuver in the opposite direction of stress.

The mind is inseparable from the body, so the mind will follow where the body leads it. When the body is brought to a state of relaxation, the mind follows. Think about what happens when, for example, you get a massage. Through the manipulation of muscles, the body is relaxed. Then the mind tags along for the ride. Before you know it, the mind is also relaxed. The body is used as a sort of lever to nudge the mind toward a different state. Think about what happens when you step into a bubble bath. You surrender your tension to the soothing water. Then your mind takes on the same flavor. If you bring your body to an unstressed state, you bring your mind there too.

Somewhere along the way, we got the stress ball instructions backward. If the goal is to alleviate stress, squeezing a stress ball accomplishes the exact opposite. Instead of practicing squeezing, we should be practicing unsqueezing. That doesn’t mean you should throw away your stress balls. You just have to use them in a new way. What if, instead of squeezing a stress ball, you refrained from squeezing it? What if you carried it around and practiced resisting the temptation to squeeze it? Put it on your desk at work. Put it on your nightstand. Instead of compressing it, practice emulating it. Tantric practitioners in ancient India were known to contemplate statues of gods and goddesses for hours, even days on end until they had incorporated somehow an essence of the god or goddess into their being. Do this with the stress ball. Become more like the stress ball, the unstressed stress ball, that is. Hold it in your hand. Resist squeezing it. Feel its light round touch on your palm. Be as buoyant and as resilient as the stress ball. Practice this over and over.

We always want to be doing something. Reducing stress is more about undoing than it is about doing. It’s more about unsqueezing than squeezing. The stress ball, used in the traditional way, plays right into our hands’ ever-present desire to do something, to squeeze something. Instead of yielding to this temptation to squeeze, we should be learning to refrain from squeezing until, over time, it becomes second nature. Here’s an idea for a new year’s resolution. It takes less than a second, and you can practice it anywhere, anytime. Simply notice the state of your body. Notice how your body is a living, breathing stress ball. Ask yourself if your body is in a stressed or an unstressed state. If your body is stressed, simply unsqueeze yourself. Unsqueeze your muscles and allow your mind to follow your body’s lead. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but if you perform one of these counter-maneuvers every day, by the end of the year, you will have done it three-hundred-and-sixty-five times. If you have a spare second, try it twice a day. When you’re stopped in traffic, instead of fidgeting with a radio that never delivers the satisfaction you’re looking for, loosen your fingers from the knob. Relax the muscles of your neck. Let your shoulders fall by your side with a cushiony lightness. Be the unsqueezed foam of the ball. When you’re standing in a long line, instead of bouncing and fidgeting or surfing the web on your phone, use the opportunity to stand still and relax. Be the unsqueezed foam of the ball. When you’re waiting for an elevator, instead of pressing the already pressed button repeatedly, use the opportunity to stand still for a moment. Put your hands in your pocket. Relax. Be the unsqueezed foam of the ball.