small gold box

I FOUND HIM near the nurse’s station in his wheelchair, receiving a cup of pills in his hands. His right leg, badly mangled in the accident, had been screwed and pinned back together and wrapped up in a soft cast. He couldn’t bend it at the knee, so when I wheeled him around and down the hallway to his room in the locked unit, I was mindful of the large sweep his outstretched right leg made as we rounded the corners.

tea and toothpicks

I’M SO PROUD of my tea assistant, Mr. Blank. He’s been a patient of mine for almost three years, arriving at our rehabilitation center in the summer of 2012. He stayed with us for four months before returning to his home state on the east coast, but ended up in jail soon after his discharge for assaulting his ex-wife. Knowing his history, and with sincere interest in his welfare, the authorities agreed to transfer him back to our center where he could receive appropriate treatment for his aggression. He was very fortunate. I’ve no doubt there are many men like him, with similar histories, imprisoned for similar offenses all over this country. In his first twenty-five years of life he’s endured more than most of us ever will — all manner of abuse, traumatic brain injury, incarceration — so ending up where he did after being arrested was a rare stroke of good fortune for him. He’s been my tea assistant for seven months.

i love electric light

I WAS PUMPING gas early one morning three Februarys ago when he stepped out from under the streetlight. “Hey man,” he said. “Can you help me out with something to eat?” Good sense would have dictated I do the exact opposite of what I did, but it was cold and I felt bad for him, so I pulled out my wallet and opened it.

springwatch

THESE LAST FEW DAYS have tasted like spring. Branches are budding. Birds are busy building nests. Yesterday was baby blue and one thin layer was enough to keep me warm, so I decided to serve an orange blossom green tea to my Peaceful Habits group, to call attention to and amplify that feeling of spring we were all tasting. I served a jasmine green as well. This year I’ve started using two small teapots instead of one large one, a small ceramic one and a small cast iron one. I received the teapots as gifts for Christmas, and I’m glad I did. Now I can serve two teas simultaneously. Now the group is more like a tea tasting.

skull replacement

MR. JONES was the first person to show up for my tea group yesterday. “Good morning,” I said. “Any word yet on when you’re getting your skull put back in?” “Doc,” he said, “I have an appointment tomorrow. I’m hoping he’ll set a date.” And with that brief exchange I could gauge how much progress he’d made since the last time I saw him, the Thursday before Christmas.

pointer finger

YOU HEAR A LOT about mindfulness these days. You hear less about awareness, the sister of mindfulness. They’re two sides of the same coin really. Just as the mind can be sharpened into focus — this is mindfulness — the mind can also be fuzzed out and panoramic — this is awareness. Zoom in to a pinpoint — mindfulness. Zoom out to take in the open space all around you — awareness.

gratitude

THE PATIENTS I TREAT rarely thank me. It’s not that they’re ungrateful. Many can’t speak or don’t know where they are, much less what’s happened to them. And those who can speak and aren’t confused think that nothing is wrong with them and that I’m some kind of jailer. Last week I got punched in the mouth when a life care patient of mine asked me when he would get to go home and didn’t get the answer he wanted to hear. A few weeks ago I got peed on helping a guy having a seizure. Yesterday I got called a f*cker at the end of my first appointment. All in a day’s work.